Overcoming Challenges: The Journey of Fola

Her favorite lines when ministering to me in beatings would be ” ESE loun dun e, ori o dun e, kilode toun se bi didirin? Se ori dun e ni? Meaning ” you are only physically challenged not a retard, why are you acting like a retard? Are you a retard? My secondary school too added their own sauce, Mrs Akintuyi ( our then VP specially requested that I be beaten anytime I come late like the other students. And anytime my sister waits for me on the road she makes certain she gets a beating for being late too. And may God bless her for me). My Principal Mrs Adedipe ( God bless her too much) insists and never feels bad when I cut my own portion of grass like the other school girls).

I remember visiting my uncle ( Uncle Bade Adeuti, who was a Navy Captain at the time. My sister Motilola Adekunle and I were going somewhere she took a few steps ahead and in my usual practice, I stopped and told her to keep going alone then. Believe me when I tell you that my sister would never go anywhere without me and she doesn’t mind how long it took, she will wait. So long we were together she doesn’t mind. So that morning imagine my shock when my uncle screamed at her to keep going and he walked up to me and said ” Fola, we all have our pace in life, the fact that she gets there before you doesn’t mean you won’t get there too. We all have to arrive at our own time, no one and I mean no one has to wait for you”. I hated him that morning, ( not that he cared though) but his words never left me, (God bless you too uncle).

Then I got to my office OSRC and they gave me the toughest chores that would make you wonder if they know this girl is challenged in any way at all. You miss you shift ( trust @Tope Akin Adeleye, @ Henry Jay, @ Aunty Buki Ogunkwa, @ Aunty Funke Adebusoye, @Alh Akinkunmi, @Tolulope Adedayo @ Mrs Alewi. Jeez at some point I concluded they don’t love me and I remember Alh. Isaq would always say I won’t be doing this if I don’t like you, then the next minute he will go ” mi like omo fola yi kan kan”. ( Wonderful people, I didn’t like them then too but would get my chores done ASAP hahahhaha so long the job is done they can’t be bothered at all hahahahhaa).

The effect this tough love had on me was that I didn’t and never saw myself as physically challenged. I will not want to be in the same room with another challenged person, so it doesn’t look funny(haha). I was a presenter on TV and refused to take up any disability related program because I am not one of them. How could I be with them. Then I travelled and saw the way people treated me with love and respect, gave me preference in almost everything, held the door respectfully not pitifully in any way or manner. Then I saw the thin line between respect and pity.

It was then I realized that what I didn’t want was the pity, what I hated was the sense of entitlement that challenged people had. The pity party they want to throw themselves and how some of them expect you to just give alms and dash money. I decided to do something about it in my own little way. And made up my mind to give to the needy who really can’t help themselves. I first acknowledged that I am with them and one of them but I need to show them how to make impact. Hence the birth of my program ” Beyond Challenges “.

So far so good we have not disappointed our growing audience, and today the international community recognises our hustle. A very big thank you to everyone I mentioned in this write up, you have all shaped me into the woman that I am today. To all those who hurt me along the line too, thank you. If not for your contributions I wouldn’t be here too.

When you accept yourself for who you are, the world recognises you. It all starts from within.

N.B

At the American Consular General’s house

Citation: By the Deputy Consular General

Video by: MWF Njideka Okeke